#280: Molly Patrick - Ready to Make Lasting Change? Your Future Self Will Thank You

 

Molly Patrick, founder of Clean Food Dirty Girl

What does it take to turn your life around?

Molly Patrick, co-founder of Clean Food, Dirty Girl, knows the answer better than most.

In this powerful podcast episode, Molly shares her deeply personal journey from a life of heavy drinking and smoking to embracing a vibrant, plant-based lifestyle.

Discover how Molly overcame social anxiety and addiction, faced the discomfort of change, and built a life filled with health, purpose, and joy. Alongside Rip, she dives into topics like:

  • Navigating the challenges of major lifestyle shifts.

  • The art of ‘embracing the suck’—why discomfort can lead to growth.

  • Simple strategies to set your future self up for success, including meal prep and intentional living.

With her candid storytelling and passion for creating irresistible plant-based recipes, Molly inspires us to celebrate our imperfections and embrace every step of our unique path toward health and happiness.

Episode Highlights

2:40 Embracing Imperfections with Molly Patrick
9:30 Clean Food, Dirty Girl Explained
13:25 Molly’s Journey of Self-Discovery
23:55 What’s It Like Growing Up in a Teepee?
32:45 Struggles with Alcohol and Smoking
36:00 The Major Turning Point at 35
45:10 Building a New Life
55:20 Lessons from Loss
1:06:20 The Importance of Flavor
1:10:10 Advice for Future Self

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Episode Resources

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Full Episode Transcription via Transcription Service

I'm Rip Esselstyn, and you're listening to the PLANTSTRONG Podcast.

[0:05] PLANTSTRONG Cousins, can you believe that we are already getting ready to turn the corner on a new year? It seems like yesterday that it was January 2024, but this presents an opportunity for self-reflection and goal setting. And I'd love to know, what would you like to do just a little bit better in 2025? What are some of your self-improvement goals? And can you silence that harsh self-critic that resides in all of us and embrace more vulnerability and self-love? Today's inspiring episode with Molly Patrick will shine a light on how to do just that. And we'll have her story right after these words from PLANTSTRONG. Molly Patrick, co-founder of Clean Food, Dirty Girl, didn't have the most conventional upbringing. She lived with her family in a teepee of all the crazy things without any kind of modern amenities, which certainly shaped her resilient character.

[1:22] She also began drinking at a very young age to combat shyness and social anxiety. And as her drinking escalated, she found herself trapped in a cycle of addiction, often using it as a crutch to navigate social situations.

[1:39] And the funny thing, throughout most of her adult life, Molly has also been living a vegan lifestyle, but still struggled with alcohol, smoking, and all kinds of other self-sabotaging behaviors. Now, a critical turning point came at the age of 35 when she recognized that the lifestyle that she was living was unsustainable and detrimental to her well-being and her business. Today on the PLANTSTRONG Podcast, Molly shares her journey of transformation from a life of a heavy drinking and smoking woman to embracing a healthy plant-based lifestyle and running a successful online business where delicious and nutritious food is the focus. How in the world did Molly turn it around?

[2:35] A whole lot of self-forgiveness, vulnerability, and hard work. Has it been easy no way but learning to embrace the suck as molly likes to say has also been a part of the self-healing journey which you're going to hear about right now so let's all embrace our imperfections and explore self-love with molly patrick.

[3:04] Molly Patrick, welcome to the PLANTSTRONG Podcast. Where in the world am I talking to you from today? Hello, Rip. Thank you for having me. I am in my house on Maui this morning. It's 7.03 this morning from beautiful Hawaii. Wow. Wow. How long have you been in Hawaii? I'm a little bit jealous. Us uh i've been in hawaii since 2016 it's the the longest state i've ever lived in i moved around so many times in my life but i've been here since 2016 i moved to the big island then in 2019 i moved to maui so i i i have been to both those i've probably been to the big island, 20 times into Maui 14 times. Um, so I know them both pretty well. What, what drew you to the big island in 2016?

[4:03] Well, I, I wanted to live in Hawaii and, um, my partner at the time and co-founder of my business, uh, we knew that we wanted to move to Hawaii. And at the time that we had just started the business in 2014. And we're like, okay, when, when we can afford it, we'll move to Hawaii. And so in 2016, we could afford it, but we could, we could afford to move to the big island. And we found the most affordable place to live on the whole island. And we stayed there. Um, it, you know, it's just, it's just such a beautiful place. The energy really called to us. Um, it, something was just calling us here. So that's, we, we went, you know, we did it, how we could do it at the time. And then eventually, um, when we could afford it, move to, move to Maui. Wow. What, where were you on the big Island? We were on the East side. So we were on the super, super rainy, rainy, rainy side, um, in near the Hilo area. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really beautiful. Yeah. And, and, and so how have you enjoyed Maui compared to the big Island? I love it. I was really getting sick of the gray and the rain and I was like, Hey, I moved to Hawaii. I want some sun.

[5:13] So I, I really love Maui. I feel very at home here and, um, it's, it's a, it's a beautiful place to live. It's a, I do, I do miss seasons a little bit, but, um, it's, I'm going to Europe for a couple of months at the end of the year to get my like winter my winter in but um it's beautiful um how how is the island doing after that just horrific fire that went through there was about a year ago that that it was a year ago august yeah i mean it's still very much impacted um i i think it'll take like decades actually for for the recovery. Um, there's so many people that have just been displaced and now we already had a really, um, you know, uh, housing shortage. And so it's been, it's been really devastating.

[6:08] Well, I can't, I can't even imagine. Um, yeah, those photos and videos were just, um, very surrealistic to say the least.

[6:19] All right. Well, you're in Maui. I'm in Austin, Texas. Let's talk about, you know, some plant-based things here since we both have plant-based brands and, and you said you started yours in 2014. And so for, for the PLANTSTRONG audience that doesn't know who Molly Patrick is and what your brand is, what is your brand? What's the name of your brand? Okay. So clean food, dirty girl is our, our company, our brand, our business, our community. And, uh, yeah, we've, we've been doing this since 2014. So like 10 years now, I can't believe it. Um, and we really, we help people learn how to shop and how to cook healthy, whole food, plant-based meals. That's really what it is. And we provide a really supportive community to do that in. So that's in a nutshell, that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's clean food, which I think everybody kind of gets what you mean by clean food. Right. But just just so we're all clear, what do you mean by clean food? So we mean plant food. We mean whole plant food. I mean, veggies, fruits, beans and legumes, whole grains, nuts and seeds, lots of herbs and spices. So that's where we're going for whole plants. Right, right. What's your stance on added oils?

[7:46] So we don't use any oils in our recipes. We never have. And I know that it can be kind of a hot topic and a bit of a debate in the plant-based world. You know.

[8:00] When I got into this, I, you know, I was reading, I was reading, I was following like what Dr. Greger said, and I was looking at like what your dad was putting out and even what you were putting out and looking at all of this. And I thought, well, you know, I had, I've been vegetarian my whole life. I have been, I was turned vegan when I, or in 2010, like 10.

[8:22] And I was just curious. I was like, can, can I make food without oil taste good? It was more of that because I wanted the food and the recipes to be really good. And so I started experimenting and I was like, wow, I can, like, you don't actually need the oil. And so, um, it was more of like a, a test to see what kind of recipes I could come up with without oil. And then I quickly realized, oh, you, I don't miss it. I don't need it. And so we just kept going. Yeah. Well, what I have found to be the case is the more that you kind of develop your palate for food that isn't kind of laced with all these oils and whatnot, after a while you try it. And for the most part, it just tastes like synthetic goo that's on your food. And it's kind of, you know, it's preventing you from having this full whole food experience where you can taste all the little kind of the nuances and flavors that are in these whole plant-based foods. So I applaud you, obviously, for that.

[9:32] And then what about Dirty Girl? Because dirty girl is, you know, you got me with a dirty girl. Okay, so I'm going to tell you all about the dirty girl part, but I want to add, I want to circle back one thing that you were mentioning about the oil. So one really cool thing about, you know, switching to a whole food plant-based diet is I think that a lot of people don't even realize how much flavor and taste whole plant foods have. Like the saltiness of celery, for example, right? or the sweetness, sweet potato. Maybe people can taste the sweetness of a sweet potato, but there's all of these, these flavors that when you are inundated with, you know, a lot of fat and sugar and oil and salt, you don't taste that stuff as you know. And so I just want to tell you this quick story. I had quit eating oil. I took oil out of the diet in 2000 and like 14. And I always really loved a good baguette and some good quality olive oil. And, you know, I do that from time to time. And so I had done quit oil and it had been like a year and a half. My sister came to visit for Easter and she had bought some olive oil and a baguette. And I was like, Oh, I'm just going to taste that. I haven't had it in a long time. And I went to dip the baguette in the olive oil.

[10:51] And I had to spit it out. I was like, whoa, this tastes so wrong in my mouth. And it was good quality olive oil. Right. But I just couldn't. I just I lost the taste for it. And after not having it for that amount of time, it tasted really foreign to me. And so that was a really that was an eye opener for me. No, that's a good story. That's a really good story. Okay. Okay. So dirty girl. Well, I was talking to, with Dr. Barnard a few weeks ago, and he asked me that same question. And I started squirming in my seat because I was like, how am I going to explain to this very nice Midwestern man, dirty girl, if I would have seen myself in that position 10 years ago, maybe I would have picked a different name.

[11:38] Uh i did i i did get it out but um no i i do like the name and the dirty girl part it it initially came because i used to have a sailor's mouth i used to just have a potty mouth i would you know and when i started the business i would always write like i talked and i wasn't a writer right That was the skill that I had to develop as I dove into this online business world.

[12:09] But in the beginning, I was just like kind of crude. I would just, you know, my writing skills weren't that great. And so I really relied on a lot of like swearing and like, you know, whatever. And that's, you know, I was a lot younger. I was drinking. I was smoking. And so I was like, that's perfect for me. And I also like the dirty part because you could take it as like being in the garden and getting dirty. You could take it in different ways and it also as the brand kind of evolved people liked it it kind of stuck and now our community they call themselves dirties and it's a whole big thing and i just like i'll never change it because it it's it's it's there like i did i did that and now it's there and it also i think fits well because we are big on you know imperfection and celebrating imperfection and being open about all of our human messiness that we all have. And so that dirty part kind of exists with that clean food part in a way that's sort of a contrast that really fits our brand well and really is our brand. Well, you just said a mouthful there. And so I want to come back to the imperfection part because I think that is a...

[13:26] Um, that's something worth talking about. You know, Robert, you know, Robert, Dr. Robin, Robin, Dr. Robin Schutkan is she's a gastroenterologist.

[13:38] Okay. So her whole motto is to live dirty and eat clean. Um, but obviously, you know, your, yours is a much different take than hers is except for the eat clean, your clean food, she's eat clean. Um, but I want to just let people know because you know i wrote down some examples of your of your dirty girl like and this is kind of very innocent here but you know you say we make eating plant-based damn delicious right i mean that's pretty darn uh simple and i like that uh you say it's not complicated to eat healthy when you get hungry eat plants that haven't been blanked with too much and then repeat right Right.

[14:22] Yeah, everybody. I think you can understand what what I mean there or what what you meant there. And then this one to the point of eating healthy and having a healthy lifestyle. It's not so we can live forever. That shit doesn't work. We do it so we can feel as good as we can for as long as we can. So just so the audience can get a little taste of the dirty girl potty mouth. That's right. Those are all very good examples. you know i think i've always been a fan of just not taking stuff too seriously right i mean taking your health seriously and you know it's important but also like let's have a little bit of fun with it let's not take it so seriously that we're stressed out and and worried about it as well right so those are those were great examples rip thank you oh yes you're welcome um Um, I think, I think it's important that we talk about how you grew up. And, you know, when I was on your website and reading about your background, I was like, you got to be kidding me. I didn't know that stuff like this happened where, um, people actually could grow up in a teepee without running water and, or I should say hot water and plumbing. And, but you did that. And so, like, can you let us know how did that happen and what in the world, what were your parents, you know, thinking, doing to do something as wonderful as that?

[15:51] You could have gone either way with that. So, yeah. And this wasn't in the 1800s. This was in the 1980s. I have to preface with that. Yeah. So this was in New Mexico. My parents, they grew up in very traditional, you know, white picket fence type of households. My dad grew up in Wisconsin. My mom was born in Iowa. And... As they, when I, my dad got back from the Vietnam war and he was like, my grandpa wanted him to take over his, his business. It was like a title company business. My dad's like, I can't, I need to go to the mountains. And so he booked it to Colorado. My mom had three kids, was living that white picket fence housewife kind of life. She said, I'm going to die. If I keep doing this, I got to move to the mountains. And so they both moved to the same mountain town unbeknownst to them. They met each other. They fell in love. And they just became these like raging hippies. And they, you know, they didn't eat meat and they traveled around the country. They hitchhiked. They, you know, did a lot of camping. They really lived very alternative lifestyles. My mom, that didn't go over well with either of their families. So they were kind of the odd, the black sheep of the family.

[17:09] But they eventually settled in New Mexico. They bought a piece of just land out in the middle of nowhere, five acres of land. And it was their dream to build their own house. And when I say build their own house, I mean, the two of them making their own house with their hands, but not only that, they're also making all of the material for their house. So they, so they built, um, Adobe is Adobe homes. That's a very common material or it was in, New Mexico. It's using straw and mud, dirt, some rock, and you mix it and then you make these bricks with it. And it's a really awesome way to build houses because it's really sustainable. It stays cool in the summer, warm in the winter. And so they learned how to do that. And they did that. So as they were building this house, they pitched a teepee. And my dad...

[18:00] And mom built an outside kitchen. My mom started to grow vegetables and that's, we had an outhouse and that's how we lived. Now tell me as, as they're building the house, are you standing around watching? Are you even born yet? Yeah. So I'm little. So I'm like one, even less than that. They started building when my mom was pregnant. They had me. So then they just put me to work. I'd be out there with them, you know, helping them or just, you know, I really grew up outside. Like I grew up in nature. I grew up outside. We never had a television. We never, we, we got a phone in like, I think I was 16 when there was finally a phone line.

[18:43] Incredible. And even then my mom was like, so hesitant to do it, but she decided it was time. So yeah, we had an outhouse growing up, no indoor plumbing, no hot water for a long time. So it was very very different um for that era well so was it was it as you say it was like a teepee but was it like a yurt where it was just no no no it was like a teepee it was like imagine i mean so my mom and dad were friends with um some native american people and they had an extra teepee and they they bought it from them they their friends showed them how to make it so it was just i mean it was a it was a it wasn't a yurt because it had a very narrow top right um they could put they could build a fire in the middle and it was pretty i mean it was pretty wide there was enough for like i guess there was like four beds in there you know my dad made some platforms and then got i don't i don't remember some mattresses somewhere but that's i mean that's really where we lived until the until the first structure was ready to move in.

[19:49] Wow. I mean, to me... Uh, you know, just with all the amenities and everything that everybody has these days, that sounds dreamy. Uh, uh, I, I don't know. Did you feel like, Oh my God, mom and dad, this is just so embarrassing. Or did you just, did you want for anything else or were you, did you feel okay with it? Yeah. I mean, it was a great way to grow up. I didn't know any different, right that's what I knew and I knew that I loved outside I didn't know what screens were I didn't right I I had my imagination and my neighbor who is actually my very best friend and still is her parents while they were building their house they bought us old school bus and made their house and a school bus so that was pretty normal to me right well we were like that was my only reference at that point but as I started to get older and go to sleepovers and have friends that did live in houses with toilets. I was like, oh, this isn't normal. Like other people don't have to walk in the freezing cold to go to the bathroom in the winter. Like, wow, that would be really cool. So there was some, I don't think I was ever like resentful about it. I think that I.

[21:07] Always appreciated the tenacity that it gave me and the, you know, I'm somebody who's pretty low maintenance and I can feel comfortable in almost any, any place and any, any home I've ever lived in since then, it's been like, wow, there's heat, there's AC. That's incredible. There's like, you know, it's hot shower. It's amazing. So I think it gave me a lot of qualities that I, that I like in me. And so, um, yeah, it was just sort of, that's how it was. Um, yeah, Are your parents still alive? They are. Actually, my mom just turned 81 this year. She's been a whole food plant-based vegan since 1997. She's never had any health issues. She has more energy than most 30-year-olds. She lives here on Maui.

[21:57] She's doing great. She looks awesome. My dad is still alive. He is, I think he turned 75 this year.

[22:04] He also eats plant-based because he eats whatever my mom cooks. And he goes snorkeling every day. He's had a few health things, but he's living his best life. So yeah, they're doing great. So when did they sell the five acres with the teepee? Yeah, yep. They sold in 2021 and they moved to Maui in 2020. So that was a really, that was a hard decision for them. But one thing that, you know, it was the kind of house where it was like, they had a, uh, uh, to, to get heat in the winter, right. They had to build a fire. And so that required going to get firewood and that required, you know, getting a permit and going to the forest and, you know, getting their own fuel for that fire. And, and they also built their houses. Like it wasn't just one house. It was different structures along the land because my mom wanted privacy. She wanted like the kitchen to be the kitchen, her and my dad's structure to be there. She, they built a separate structure for the kids. Um, and so there was a lot of, you know, like being outside and walking and the other thing, and that's not that that's a bad thing, but as you get older, right, you're like, okay, well, what happens if I slip or I fall? And, um, the town that I was raised in was very, very small. They had really limited, um, medical facilities.

[23:28] And as they you know were getting older I was like you know it would be it would be great to be around them um more so I was like hey what do you think about moving to Maui and my dad was like yep I'm there my mom was like okay I'll get used to it and so and so they did that and then decided to sell the house because they weren't going to live there anymore and um and that was that was a strange thing but

[23:50] they they knew it was time so yeah well how nice to have your parents there nearby. How wonderful. Very lucky. They're lovely people. They've always been really supportive of me. And they, you know, my mom taught me from a young age how to cook healthy food and I've never eaten meat in my life. And I've, you know, I mean, she really gave me a gift with, with that. So I'll always be really, really thankful. And it served her well. It served me well. And she's, you know, going strong at 81. So, so never having eaten meat at any point, obviously now you love it, But at any point, were you feeling like you were missing out not eating meat or you were like, no, this is a good thing? Never. Yeah, it always felt...

[24:34] I always thought when I would leave, when I would leave home, I didn't care so much about the meat, but I wanted some breakfast cereal that wasn't rice with raisins and cinnamon and rice milk. Right. I was like, I want checks. I want Rice Krispies like that, like the meat. I don't care about the meat, but I want some like processed stuff. So when I did finally move out of the house, I did. I went to the store and I bought cereal and I never drank milk because I couldn't really sit well with me. But you know I started to eat it and I was like I don't this doesn't really feel so good so then I quickly realized that okay my mom was on to something but I've always felt that for me um, putting meat in my mouth it just has never I mean I've never done it but it it to me it's like as foreign as if somebody said here here's a rock you can eat and not in like a judgmental way I think you know I don't believe in being the food police and everybody is where they're at um but for me, it's just always, I've always had this feeling that it just wasn't something that my body wanted, or I don't, I don't even know why I would do it.

[25:41] Yeah. So I never tried it. I never missed it. Yeah. I've got three kids and they've never had a piece of meat in their mouth either. And, um, and they don't have any kind of curiosity to, to, to go there either. So, so I can, I can relate to that through through them i have on the other hand eaten a lot of meat up until the age of 23 and a half when i went on my little voyage tell me um.

[26:12] And Molly, so you mentioned that, you know, you moved out. How old were you when you moved out of the teepee and went out on your own or maybe went to college? Or did you did you have a traditional did you go to a traditional school or were you homeschooled in the teepee? Um no I did go to a traditional school I went to a small a small school because again we lived in this very small town so it was small but yes I did go to school I wasn't I was I think I was homeschooled for a year my mom homeschooled me for a year um and then I branched out but I I left home I actually um graduated high school when I was 17 and I moved to Austin um just for a little while to see if that was some place that I wanted to be and I had a great time but then eventually moved back to New Mexico to go to school there because I had good, um, in-state tuition. And then I moved to Colorado to, uh, go to a more specific, um, art school program. Um, so that's, I, so I guess 17 is when I left. And, and when I was 17, um, my parents put in a flushing toilet.

[27:18] Oh, how about that? How about that? Now that wasn't, was that inside the teepee or was that outside. That was, that was in one of the buildings that they had built from this, this Adobe structure. Yeah. Got it. Tell me, cause this is, this is something that I think I'd love to talk about. And I think it's something that can be very helpful for a lot of our listeners because at some point you started to become a kind of major league boozer and, and drinker. I think you refer to yourself. You were, you were smoking like a chimney and, and drinking like a fish. And so I'm wondering, like, when did that start? Why? Why do you think that that started? And then I'd love to talk about this cycle of self-sabotage and then how in the world you were able to pull yourself out and and kind of like and cut it off. Yeah. Yeah.

[28:18] OK, so I'm going to try to make this as brief as possible. Um, but you know, I think I, I started drinking when I was a teenager, um, normal kind of weekend parties. Um, and I had always been sort of like a really, really, really shy kid and like a really sensitive kid. And as I got older, that didn't really go away. And so I was not popular in school. And the first time I had a drink, I was at a New Year's party, and I was 14.

[28:52] And I remember thinking, I'm not shy anymore. Like I can talk to people and I don't feel that awkwardness. And I don't feel that nervousness. And that is something that my brain just went, Oh, that must be a good thing then. So I drink, you know, during high school on the weekends and stuff. And then I would say when I got to be like 18, I was drinking more and more and really all through my 20s. And it really like it progressed, I think. And, you know, it started out as I was I was using then I was kind of abusing and then I was really addicted to it. I was also smoking, you know, cigarettes. I mean, I started smoking when I was like 16. So I, although I, you know, it's interesting because I've had this life that on the one hand, it's very, you know, wholesome and whole and very healthy. And then on the other hand, I had this really dark.

[29:53] Darkness to it as well. Um, with the drinking and the smoking and just some not great choices. And why did I start? I mean, that's really why I started because it made me feel damn good. And it made me feel like I'm no longer shy. I can talk to people. I can get out of my shell a little bit. Um, and I, I liked that. What about the smoking? Cause I, the smoking, did that go along with just the drinking? Cause the two go kind of hand in hand a little bit. Yeah. Yep. And I would also like, I just loved it. I loved lighting a cigarette. I loved, you know, as I was in my twenties, I loved having a cup of coffee in the morning and smoking a cigarette. I loved having a cigarette after I ate, you know, I loved smoking. Yeah. There was no point of drinking without smoking. There's, you know, I mean, it just, it was just part of my life. Um, I, yeah, I was not a wholesome whole, like, well, I was a whole person that never changed, but I wasn't, you know, I, I, I was living a very unhealthy life for many years and it got to the point where.

[30:56] Like, I, I tried to moderate. I did. I tried so many times and I just, I had the hardest time with it. And it got to the point where I couldn't turn off that switch. If I started drinking, it was like, that was it. There is no turnoff for me. Right. Until I pass out. I just, I'm not going to have a glass of wine. I'm not going to have a beer because what's the point? And so moderating. So, so give me an idea though. Um, like how many, so you would drink and you would drink until you pass out. I mean, really? I mean, I could drink two bottles of wine and a pack of cigarettes in a night easy myself. Okay. And then how, how many, how many days a week is that happening?

[31:45] Oh, well, I mean, from my mid twenties, it was happening pretty much every day. Like, yeah, yeah. I mean, I was in it. I was that it really had its claws in me and you know, I would, I would wake up and I would tell myself, okay, I'm not going to do it today. And I didn't tell anybody that I was struggling. I mean, the friends that I had and the people that I was around also did that. And so that was a normal thing. But I also noticed that there were some people around me that could leave a little bit of wine in their glass. And I was like, I could never do that. I would never do that. And I noticed these same people were like, yeah, I can have a glass or I can hang out with you and not drink. Sometimes if that's what we're doing. And I started to recognize there's something different going on with me than other people who are drinking.

Struggles with Alcohol and Smoking

[32:41] And I did not tell anybody that because I recognized that I had a problem. And I did not want that to.

[32:50] It was hard to admit to myself, but also if I got that out, then I might have to quit. And I was terrified of that. Like, I didn't know who I was without drinking. I didn't know how to, I didn't know who I was in the world. And so that thought was so scary to me that I, you know, I just lived with it for many, many years. So are you also holding a job while you're, you're you're you're partaking in all this always very functional and actually really overcompensating i would go to the gym i would go on morning walks i would um you know put everything into my work like i was really because there was so much shame wrapped up and in my drinking that i wanted to like prove to myself prove to the world that i was a good person that i had worth that I had value. And so I would go just as extreme with everything else in my life. So yeah, very highly functioning and exhausted. Yeah. I just can't imagine. Okay. So I'm sorry, I interrupted you. You were saying, so now you're 35 years old and something happened. Yeah. So I was 35 and I was just so tired and like physically tired. Yes.

[34:07] Emotionally tired. yes, but I got to the point where I felt this is going to sound strange. Maybe some of your audience can relate to it, but I felt like, like thin, I felt like a thin version of myself and not like thin as in skinny. Um, but just, I was really fragile and I knew that even just day to day, I had a hard time. And I knew that if something was.

[34:36] Challenging happens, which I knew it would because this is life and things always challenging stuff happens all the time. I was like, I don't know if I could handle it. I don't feel like I'm equipped with the strength, with the tenacity, with the bounce back because I'm so consumed by this thing and it's making me physically and emotionally and spiritually just completely drained. And so I don't have the capacity to be there for somebody else if somebody else were to need me. I don't have the capacity to like go through grief and be okay. Like I knew that, I knew that if I didn't make a change, I just wasn't going to be okay. And that was, and nothing happened. Like there wasn't one thing that kind of woke me up. I never had a DUI. I never had any major health, you know, issues. I mean, I'm sure that there was a lot going on that would have eventually led to obvious health issues, but there wasn't like this one thing. It was just, I woke up and I was like, I can't keep going like this. And if I do keep going like this, I can never complain about the effects of this.

[35:42] I mean, I can't complain about hangovers. I can't complain about my business not growing. I can't complain about strained relationships. Like I have to take all of that and just love it because that is my choice if I keep going. And can I love that life? And I didn't want to love that life.

The Turning Point at 35

[35:58] And so I decided to make the very brave choice of changing my life. Right. Right. What what was your alcohol of choice and what were your cigarettes of choice? OK, so American Spirit Yellow Pack.

[36:14] I started on Camel Lights, but eventually American Spirit Yellow. That was my favorite. And then I loved red wine. I like white wine, too. But red wine was my favorite thing. I wasn't really much of a beer drinker and I tried to stay away from hard alcohol because I knew with the amount that I was drinking I was like, You know, I mean, not that wine is too much better, but I was like, I feel like I was going to decline faster if I started doing really hard alcohol often. So red wine was my was my thing. Right. All right. So you just said you made the brave and the brave decision. Why do you use the word brave? Because I just want to hear from you.

[37:05] Because it's the scariest thing I ever did. And it was something that I, as I was making that choice, I couldn't imagine making that choice, but I was like watching myself make that choice. And I had to conjure up all of the courage that I have and all of the bravery that I had, because I knew I was doing something that was going to be incredibly challenging for me and incredibly hard. So I needed that bravery.

[37:34] And did you, did you seek help? Did you go to like AA or anything like that? No, I didn't. I, um, being the introvert that I am and, uh, I'm a cancer sign. And so cancers, we tend to like really go inside. Um, and like, I knew what I had to do. There was this, there was this intuitive thing that I had. There was a message that I had. And I knew what I had to do. And what I had to do was get very comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I had to open up to feeling like crap. And I had to really, really want something and have the discipline to not have it and have that be okay. And have it be okay that I wanted something so badly and feeling so miserable and not knowing how to have a conversation with an adult without drinking, not knowing what I actually like because my whole identity was, was in drinking. Um, I had to be okay with just being really, really uncomfortable. So I knew that that was the thing.

[38:44] And I thought if I can just do that, that I'm going to get through this. And I also knew it had to kind of be a solo thing because I got myself into this. There was some trauma in my past that certainly didn't help the situation. I knew that that was going to have to come up. I knew I was going to have to feel those things. um and i didn't i didn't really want to i i knew that i didn't want to stop drinking and then start another thing to replace it like i didn't want to like swap right and so i knew that okay this i have to get to the bottom of this and i have to like it can't i can't just like stop drinking i have to do the work that goes along with that and dig really deep and heal some things and really get to know myself again. And I, and I didn't feel comfortable doing that around anybody else. And actually, I didn't even really tell anybody what I was doing.

[39:39] I didn't really talk about it until one year of being sober. Are you so I mean, the thing that strikes me first is, because you say that you told yourself just about every morning that, okay, that's the last time I'm not gonna do that again. and then you do it again. So what was it about that one morning, uh, in 2000, I think you said 15 where you're like, okay, I'm going to do, I mean, did you, did you actually journal or what was it that allowed you to put that stake in the ground and then finally decide, okay, this time I'm going to do it. Yeah. Yeah. It was just, it was a knowing I knew, like I said, like I had mentioned, I knew that, okay, if I keep going, I can't complain anymore. Right. That was a really big thing for me. That was a very big aha moment for me. And so I was like, and I also told myself, Molly, you can keep doing this. It's not that you can't, right. You can. And, and you're going to be a good person, even if you do keep doing this, but do you want the life that comes with this and so I think I gave my I went into it giving myself a lot of love and giving myself a lot of grace really um and so I there was a little thing that I came up with um I did journal yes I did a lot of journaling I um.

[41:08] I created a program for my community that would eventually be a program. I was writing out what I was doing and how I was doing this. I did a juice fast because I knew that, okay, I can have, like, I don't want any choices. If I'm just doing a juice fast, then I know that I can do that. And that's what I'm doing, right? I don't have to think about eating. I don't have to think about drinking. Like I'm just doing the juice fast. So I did that. That helped me.

[41:38] Unfortunately the day after my fast or the day that I finished my fast there was a half a bottle of white wine in the fridge and I went for it I was like oh I better just finish this up there was a pack of cigarettes I always kept them in the freezer like may as well just finish this stuff I had a big glass of wine I had two cigarettes and I proceeded to get really sick just vomiting Just my body was like, I just came off this juice fast. My body was like, what are you doing? And I was, I was never anybody that got sick. I mean, my tolerance was so high, right? I never got sick.

[42:16] But at that point it was like, I had done this juice cleanse and I just got so sick. I was like on all fours and I was like, okay, this is it. This is it. It was this huge purge. I had to sleep on the floor.

[42:28] It was just, it was a mess. I was a mess. And that morning I woke up, I was like, it's done. Like that's done and i just knew it was like a light that yeah just went off and then or went on and then i had this chair and i was living in a very small house and i had this this wonderful chair and i was like that is going to be where i go when i start to get uncomfortable i'm going to sit in that chair and i called it my embrace the suck chair so when.

[43:01] I started doing that's good embrace the suck i love that oh my god molly you are going to embrace the suck and that is your job right now that is your number one job to be in this world right now you have got to embrace the suck and every time you have a craving every time you're pissed off every time that you're physically you know um just think that you can't handle it without a cigarette or without a drink you go in that chair and you embrace the suck and you don't turn on the phone you don't turn on the tv you sit there and you feel it and whatever comes up it's okay and so i would go in that embrace the suck chair i would sit there and sometimes i would cry sometimes i would just get pissed off sometimes i would be fidgety sometimes i would just collapse it was a really beautiful big chair um and so that was my tool that is how i got through the first couple of months Mm-hmm.

[43:58] Okay. And so in 2014, you started Clean Food Dirty Girl.

[44:06] And so it was about a year in or so that you kind of got super, you got clean yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Because there's, yeah. So I was, you know, I started this business in 2014. And on the one hand, I was really, you know, I love helping people eat more plants. And I always have. Right. And I've had a career in that even before I started this. And so on the one hand, it was like, you know, from the outside looking in, people might think, whoa, you know, you're going through all of this. But I was always really transparent with my audience. And I so but I didn't tell the community. I didn't bring any of this up until 2016 because I wanted to wait that year. So I was still getting this business off the ground and pouring a lot of sweat equity into it. As I am that 2014, okay, ready to quit. 2015, quit. 2016, I started talking about it openly. I wrote a blog post.

[45:11] I shared a lot of intimate details about that. But yeah, that's all happening along with this sober journey of mine. Yeah yeah um what can what can you say about the the shame spiral uh that um.

[45:32] That occurs because i you know obviously i i don't think this is unique to you i think that most human beings have the uh the shame spiral and um what what can what what advice would you or what suggestions would you give to people that are.

[45:51] That are doing that and, um, to try and temper, temper the shame or, or remove the shame. Yeah. That's, it's a big question. Um, because it is, it can be very invasive. I think, you know, here's one thing that I've learned. I, I'm not a better person now than I was then. I don't I'm not more worthy now than I was then I don't deserve to be loved more now than I was then um so it's not about that so anybody who's struggling you're not a bad person you're not unworthy of love you're not unworthy of health and happiness um you just have to find it and so So I think that although it can be challenging, recognizing that and loving yourself and allowing yourself to be loved can do a lot for stopping shame in its tracks. What um.

[47:02] What was the i'm just wondering if there was a obviously there was a turning point when you decided okay i'm going to stop the the boozing and the smoking um but was there a turning point when you're like wow you know what i i love molly i really like i really like molly yeah, so it you know that first year i wasn't even sure who molly was i was like do i like this can i be social and you know am i an introvert like i always thought i was a super big introvert turns out i am a little bit but not as much as i thought um i had to get to know myself so i i wasn't sure and i and i and at that point i didn't even care i was like i'm just gonna get through the whole drinking thing for no drinking thing for a year no smoking thing for a year then i'm gonna see where we land um there was this it was about a year after i quit i went to get a massage and, i was laying on the massage table and there's something about good body work and and releasing, fascia and muscles like there's some there's some very therapeutic benefits to that in many ways and it was just one of these moments where as she was massaging my i was laying on my tummy and she's massaging my back i just had this overwhelming sense of like.

[48:20] Forgiveness and love. And I just started crying and I'm not a super big crier. I'm not like emotional or dramatic usually. And I just started crying. And it was like, I felt so much tenderness for myself and so much love for myself and, um, and forgiveness. Like, okay, it's okay. You you're here now, you know, because I, you know, part of me is like, gosh, how much in my life did I waste? What opportunities did I pass up? What, you know, and it's easy to go there. But in that moment, it was like, no, it happened just like it was supposed to. And you're okay. And you're loved. And I love you. And so that was a big moment of like, okay, that was my sort of really start to loving myself. And I think that I did love myself, though, because I think that if I didn't, I wouldn't have made that decision to quit. So the love was there. It just had to be fostered. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, way to be way to way to love yourself.

[49:25] You know, this this isn't entirely the same thing, but you talk about the crying just brings this up. We recently did a retreat in Sedona, Arizona, and there's this vortex that's on top of these 120 steps.

[49:41] And we tell everybody, if you can go there at some point in time. And I went there my last the last day that I was there.

[49:49] And I was just there just to take it to this amazing view. And I was taking it all in. There was a woman that was on top of the rocks and she was wailing, like crying so uncontrollably. It was like this really cleansing, incredible cry. And then we met at the bottom and I just kind of put my arm around her and didn't say anything. And then all she said to me was, I'm just so grateful. So i mean and i i i didn't i had i felt so i was so grateful that it was because she was grateful as opposed to you know maybe pain or something like that but um yeah it is it's wild how um different emotions lead to um that that that crying that's so beautiful um all right so you You know, one of the things in reading about you, Molly, that I loved is that at some point you talked about how you knew there was another life out there for you where you could live out a life that was beyond your dreams. And it sounds to me like you have, you know, you're doing it. You're on Maui. You've got this incredible brand.

[51:13] Would you say that it's fair to say that you're like in a great place? Yeah, I mean, I am in a great place. But here's what I'll say.

[51:25] What I'm able to do now is be really much stronger. And so I think that I am living this life that I'm like, oh, yeah, I would have never even thought that this was possible at one point in my life. But the best part about where I'm at right now is that life like and you know it right stuff happens that's so hard and so heartbreaking and I can get through that now and I can stay intact. I can keep eating healthy plant-based food. I can keep moving my body. I can keep getting good sleep. I can keep helping, you know, keep helping people eat more plants. I can help. I can keep being, um, you know, leading my team. I can keep doing that even when stuff kind of falls apart. And I've had, you know, I had, I'm coming off from like last year was probably one of the hardest years of my life. Um, I got a divorce. I sold my home. My sister died. Um, and there were, um.

[52:34] It was just an unimaginable year for me. And I made it. Like, I'm here, I'm okay. And I didn't drink and I didn't eat crappy food. And I didn't turn to, you know, substances to dole out, I was able to embrace the suck. And I was able to, to, to feel it. Right. And so, yes, living the dream, but also knowing that that dream is going to have a few nightmares along the way and and being able to cope with that and be okay with that. So that's what I'm, you know, the thing that I think about the most. Do you still have an embrace the suck chair? Yeah, no, I don't need the chair anymore. I've weaned myself off the chair, but I can have the embrace the suck moments wherever I am. I can be driving. I can be in my kitchen. If I feel it coming, I'm like, yep, there it is. Let's feel it. You know, let's not close off to it. So I've learned to do that any anywhere. Yeah. You mentioned your, your sister, uh, Kristen, I think is her, was her name. Um.

[53:33] And I didn't listen to it, but I know you had her on your podcast a month before she, before she died. Um, any, any big life lessons that you got from your sister? And I didn't, I think I read that she had breast cancer if I'm not mistaken. Yeah. Yeah. She had, um, She was diagnosed in 2004 and then had really aggressive treatment. And then in 2018, was diagnosed with stage four metastatic breast cancer recurrence. I mean, the lessons from her.

[54:10] You know, that would be a whole other pod, a whole, you know, second podcast. But I will say, you know, I miss her every day. And I was really, really close with her. And I love her so much. and so I try to I try to think about the best parts of her because she was amazing but also she could suck sometimes too like she had her streaks and she could be really mean she could be really jokey she could you know like like like we all can we're all these imperfect messy humans right so I I try to take the stuff from her that I just loved and I adored and I try to practice it Um, and so one thing that she was really good at was she listened and she was interested in what people had to say and she really cared. She really, you know, she wasn't listening just to, um, and she wasn't listening while figuring out the next thing to say. She was just always very present and always very there. And, uh, and I love that, right. We can all get so busy and so like, okay, well, let's speed this up or whatever. But she was just so good at listening. So I try to be really good at listening,

[55:19] right? I try to take the little parts from her that I just really admired a lot. So that's one thing. But yeah, that was...

[55:27] Yeah, that was, that was a hard one. Um, and, and I got through it and I'm still getting through it to a certain extent. I don't think I ever will get over it. Did you sleep next to her in the teepee? Well, she was actually, um, 17 years older than me. So when she was really young and then my mom had me when she was much older, so she could have actually technically been my mom. Um, so she was out by the time that the team, by the time I was born actually. Got it. Got it. Got it. Uh, you, you've, you've, you've alluded to it a couple of times, um, in the, in our conversation, but I'd love for you to expound upon it even more. And that is embrace the imperfection and how we're, we're all imperfect. And I think that, I think we all need to hear that. Um, so So how did you come to this whole, you know, theory about embracing imperfection?

[56:27] Well, I just realized that like we have this idea of people and, and especially on social media, it's so easy to get wrapped up in thinking, oh, well, they have the life, they have the body, they have the diet, they have this, you know, and it's just such nonsense because, you know, we try, we tend to show the best parts of ourselves and we're all a mess. We all are. We all have our stuff. We all have our hangups. We all have our issues. We all get embarrassed. And really, it's about the fact that we're all human and we all come equipped with all of these feelings, right? Embarrassment and shame and grief and guilt and not always making the best choices. And there's nothing to be ashamed of for being human, right? We're human. And people get so wrapped up in, oh, I did that wrong. I should have said this better. I should have done that better. And it's like, well, then you wouldn't be human, right? It was just that that was very clear to me. And I don't remember the exact point that I got that. But I, you know, I just realized that everybody around me has their shit.

[57:33] And that must mean that every human has their stuff, right? Like nobody, nobody gets a pass on that. No matter how perfect somebody seems, nobody is. And so let's just embrace it and be okay with it and be open about it. And I talk about it a lot in, in the, in the clean food, dirty girl community, because I think that when you talk about that, people feel less alone. They don't feel so weird. They don't feel so isolated. They're like, Oh, like she can relate or, you know, she has that weird thing she does too, you know? You know, so I think it's just important to be open about our weird messiness. Yeah. Well, I think, thank you for all that. And I think we all,

[58:10] we're all perfectly imperfect. And I think that it's a lot of times it's the imperfections that once you get to know somebody you're so drawn to about them. Yeah, I was going to say like, thank goodness we're all so imperfect. Otherwise it would just be very, very boring. Right. And for a long time, I mean, and I really, when I was drinking so much and smoking so much. Like there was just a mask. There was a facade. Like I could say that, um, you know, I didn't care. Like I was just so full of baloney. Um, but then when I started getting in touch with my emotions, then I could really say like, Oh, I, you know, what is that like to be authentic?

[58:48] Well, it means like you're okay with being embarrassed some of the time. It means that you stumble on your words. Sometimes it means that you make embarrassing choices sometimes, And there's nothing wrong with that. But I had to come to, I had to get like clean before I could even reach that point.

[59:04] Cause I think otherwise I was just always so defensive. I was pretending that I was okay with being imperfect, but I, you know, that was a whole nother, I had a lot of work to do at that point. Yeah um you for your 44th birthday yes you went to japan and you say that in japan eating soy is cool yes like explain that to me yeah it's just like you know it's changed a little bit here in the U S right. But when I was growing up and not eating meat, like I was the weird kid. I was so weird. There wasn't any kind of, uh, you know, options on the menu for people not eating meat, but you go to Japan and it's like, everybody eats soy. Everybody drinks soy milk. Everybody eats tofu. It's not this fringy thing. It's just part of society. And so it was just so nice being in a culture that that's just sort of an everyday thing and it doesn't have this weird stigma and I think here it has less of a stigma than it has had in the past um but there's still but it's still there right and so just being in a place that really.

[1:00:19] It was just normal. I was like, Oh, it's so refreshing.

[1:00:23] Yeah. Yeah. How long were you in Japan? I stayed there for, uh, it was like 10 days. I stayed in Tokyo. It's like seven and a half hours from Hawaii. So it wasn't that, that far of a, of a journey, but yeah, it was a great, it was a great trip. Love, love Tokyo. Good for you. Wow. Um, I noticed that you have, uh, a tattoo or two. Can you share with us your tattoo? Well, the ones that we can see and if there's something you should, I'd love to know about them. So this is just a spiral and, um, I got it when I was very young and I just, I liked the, the, I just liked it. I just thought there was something about the spiral that I really liked. And I was just like, yeah, I know it was like a Tuesday afternoon. I was like, yeah, I think I'll go get that tattoo. And it really is just, I mean, it doesn't really have much meaning. I tell people sometimes that it's a mosquito coil and they're like, Oh, cool. I'm like, yeah, let's just go with that. Um, I have a few tattoos on my body. Yes. Um, and some are in places that can't be seen, but yeah, I do. I do have a few, I would never get any now because I'm, I've turned into such a wussy. Like I used to do rock climbing. I used to get tattoos. I used to have piercings. And now I'm like, Oh, I could never do all of that. It would be too scary. And I would like hurt myself too much right right yeah is is sweet pea still around at all that's your cat.

[1:01:45] Yep she's been around yeah she's like going on 10 years old now and uh yeah everybody like all the dirties know about sweet pea yeah she's a really she's a really sweet she is a sweet pea yeah yeah well i know it's super early there i think we got started at 703 hawaii time um do you have any plans for breakfast today and if so what do you think you're going to have you're not going to have rice with rice milk and raisins right i love rice for cereal now um no i will tell you my breakfast though so um.

[1:02:19] One thing at Clean Food Dirty Girl, right, we have we develop recipes and that's what we do. That's what we develop recipes and meal plans for people to follow along with. And so I'm always experimenting. And that's one of my favorite things to do. We also have an awesome recipe developer developer on our team, Tammy. And so I'm always experimenting with interesting things because I think it's really important when people are switching to this way of eating, like the food has to taste good. Right for people to be to keep doing this and so that has to do with flavor yes but it also has to do with texture i think some i think that that's that's you know if you're not finding your plant based meals really satisfying put different textures on and it changes them right so my breakfast i've had a lot of like phases but um one thing that i love to do is make a big pot of.

[1:03:08] A mix of like four different grains. So like millet, steel cut oats, and black rice, forbidden black rice. I love that. And then lentils. So I cook that. And then I put in a bunch of chopped kale, put that in the fridge. And then in the morning, I just take a big scoop of that, put it in a bowl, add some a bunch of fruit and some nuts and some soy milk, maybe like a little bit of maple syrup if I'm feeling it. And that to me really like is so satisfying it keeps me full for a long time there's lots of different textures um it's really nutrient dense so that's one of my favorite breakfasts um and people are like you're eating lentils in the morning but it's like a kind of like oatmeal but not i'm like you just got to try it and yeah once people try it they're like oh yeah it is pretty good um but i also do like i make a big mix of organic uh rolled oats and then i put a mix of blended flax chia and hemp seeds in there with it and then I add some sunflower seeds or pumpkin seeds maybe some raisins and I have this big jar and then I'll put some of that in a bowl the night before and then I'll add to that bowl some amaranth so I love amaranth is one of my favorite grains make a big pot of amaranth and then I put in a little bit of molasses and I'll throw in a like a handful of steel cut oats and so I'll add some of that mixture the cooked amaranth to the oats put some soy milk and then mix it up, put it in the fridge.

[1:04:36] And then in the morning, take that, put a bunch of berries on top and then have that. So I'm all about the kind of weird combinations of food. So I'm going to have that for breakfast this morning. Well, I saw a term that you use for your food that I've never.

[1:04:53] Seen or heard before. And I think it's very appropriate. And that is mouthgasms. Yes. You dirties like to have mouthgasms. We do. We do. You know, I'm such a fan of enjoying your food and really finding joy from food. And that's such a radical concept to a lot of people who come from the standard American diet and also the dieting world, right? To be able to really enjoy your food and have it really be about eating, right? We don't wanna deprive ourselves. We don't wanna, and some people think, okay, well, you're eating whole food plant-based. There's a lot of categories of foods you're not eating. I'm like, but that doesn't even matter because there's so many foods that we do eat that you'll never get bored. And there's no reason somebody can't really, really enjoy their food and really find joy from their food. So we are all about giving our dirties mouthgasms through our recipes and through our meal plans. We have a membership.

[1:05:52] We have this beautiful portal that we have 5,000 recipes and like 450 handmade meal plans. And we really put an emphasis on having the food taste really good. And, you know, the feedback is, oh, my husband who hates tofu is able to eat your recipes. Or, you know, my spouse who is really against whole food, plant-based eating, doesn't even know that they're eating whole food, plant-based when I make your

[1:06:19] recipes and they are loving it. So we really put a lot, a lot of attention on that because, you know, it's, it's one, one plate at a time is how we're going to, how we're going to change the world in my estimation. Yeah. And then you also have a podcast. When did you launch the podcast?

[1:06:37] Oh good question i think it was like 2020 2020 2021 something like that um and i've enjoyed doing it a lot of our community had been asking for one i was like i don't know do i have things just like yeah we'll see but i started doing it and i actually really i think it's a really great medium and i really love it i really love your your podcast i love the PLANTSTRONG podcast and And I think, Rip, you ask really good questions. I love listening and all of the guests you have on. And here's, you know, you have on a lot of like doctor types and science-y types and all of those, like, I love listening to that stuff. And it's always so like rewarding to know that I'm eating in the way.

[1:07:18] Right? That is so beneficial. And then where I kind of see myself coming along is, okay, so here's all of this wonderful information. And then what do people do with that? How can they implement? How can that be tangible? How can they put that, you know, incorporate then this way of eating into their lives? And that's what, you know, I just love, just love doing. Yeah. Well, and you know, my hat goes off to you for doing that, doing a podcast. I mean, you and I both know how much work it is. And then, and also, especially for somebody that maybe is not, More leaning towards being an introvert as opposed to being an extrovert. And I would imagine that it's allowed you to get out of your comfort zone and continue to grow in ways that you never imagined. Yeah, well, I think it all goes back to that embracing the suck.

[1:08:14] When you can embrace the suck, when you can be OK with feeling uncomfortable, like you can really do whatever you want. Because all of a sudden like you might have some fear i mean i was nervous getting on this podcast this morning and um i was like okay what am i feeling so i just sat down before it started i'm like i feel it a little bit in my tummy and i feel it a little bit in my hands and this is what it feels like to be a little bit nervous right before i talk to rip for the PLANTSTRONG podcast like this is this like i'm feeling this so i was embracing and and not and i would say like those feelings, what I've learned is they don't always suck. They just feel really new if you're not used to being open to feeling them.

[1:08:58] And so it all comes back to being okay with having feelings that aren't quite comfy, cozy, right? Everybody's going to be okay watching Netflix or watching a good documentary or reading a juicy book. That's easy. But yeah, what is it going to feel like when you do something that is outside of your comfort zone? Don't do it because it's out of your comfort zone do it and feel what that feels like that's like the good stuff yeah yeah you know i think one i mean i've got a lot of wonderful takeaways from our conversation today one of them is the next time one of my kids starts complaining about something i'm gonna say you need to embrace the suck and do those do it embrace it okay please apologize to your children for me and um but you know yeah i think it'll i think it's gonna do everybody good if they embrace the suck we can learn a lot about ourselves and we can overcome some really big challenges and some really big fears when we do it so i'm on board oh man um.

[1:09:58] Any I first of all, let me just say, Molly, that it's it's been so great meeting you because we've never met before and

[1:10:10] learning about you, learning what you've gone through. This incredible brand that you have, that you've nurtured and grown now since 2014, all the good that you're doing to support your community, all the dirties that are out there. I think it's so wonderful. And is there anything that you'd like to say before we say goodbye?

[1:10:38] Yes, I would like to, and thank you for that. That's very kind. And that means a lot coming from you and I just want to thank you for having me on this space it's uh it's a big deal so and the dirties are going to like be peeing their pants with excitement I know that so um they're getting real dirty so yeah I want to say you know as much as here here's my final words as much as you can for your audience and and the dirties know I talk about this a lot but as much as you can look after your future self and do things today that your future self is going to thank you for.

[1:11:17] Right. And I'm all about living in the moment and being really present. And we can do that while looking out for our future self. And so if that is, you know, turning batch cooking into a habit and making sure that you have a big pot of soup and, you know, a dressing and a sauce in your fridge come Monday morning so that, you know, you can just whip together some food fast. Like your future self is going to thank you for that. Um, whether that's writing out when you're going to do your movement, you know, on a calendar so that, or booking a, you know, a Pilates class or something. So you can't get out of it, like doing whatever you can do now to, to nurture, to, um, and to really support your future self that goes a long way. So that's, that's, I think that that's a big, a big thing that I've been thinking about lately and doing for myself. And it's an ongoing thing, right? So like little things, um, in the morning, like I like to wake up early and go for a walk. Cause that's my coffee. I don't drink coffee. I don't, I drink a little bit of green tea from time to time, but my morning walk is like that, that gets, gives me more energy than coffee ever did. But I lay out my clothes, right? I pick out my clothes. I lay out my clothes. I put everything by the front door. I get my socks and my shoes ready so that in the morning, I don't have to think about it, I can just go.

[1:12:35] So little things like that can make a big difference in kind of the flow of your everyday life when you are in, you know, when you're really wanting to have a healthy lifestyle, right? There's a difference between, like, for me, there's a big difference between not drinking and...

[1:12:51] And having a sober, wonderful, full, healthy life, right? You can take out the drinking, but it's not just that, right? Like it's about, like, I had a lot of work to do on myself, a lot of physical damage that I needed to like, all right, I need to eat a lot of plants. I need to get good sleep. I need to move my body, right? It was this whole thing, having good friends, being able to go out and socialize. Like there's so many facets to a healthy lifestyle. And so the more you can do little things now to make sure your future self is taken care of, whether that's like, OK, I have a lunch date with my good friend next Tuesday. That's important to me. So I'm going to do it now. So I can't get out of it. Right. Doing that stuff. Really, really important. Have you noticed having smoked for so many years?

[1:13:41] Have your lungs been affected or have they recovered? Um as far as i know they have recovered i have had um x-rays i haven't had like scans but as far as i know i mean knock wood i'm in very healthy shape i go to the doctor every year i get my labs done i do my checkups i do all of the things and um i'm super healthy and no no problems so um yeah as far as I know good I'm good kale yeah kale yeah yeah yeah yeah well well Molly um this has been tremendous will you will you honor me by giving me a virtual PLANTSTRONG fist bump on the way out oh yeah all right ready yeah boom.

[1:14:34] PLANTSTRONG, Molly. Clean Food, Dirty Girl. Love it. Thank you, Rip. To learn more about Molly and her site, Clean Food, Dirty Girl, visit the link in the show notes at cleanfooddirtygirl.com. They've even put together a wonderful special for PLANTSTRONG listeners, and I'll be sure to link that in the show notes as well. As we usher in a new year and start to think about personal growth and positive change, I hope that you'll take Molly's story and her message to heart, that it's possible to transform your life and find happiness while still embracing the messy parts of being human. And one of the ways of doing that.

[1:15:26] Always, always keep it PLANTSTRONG, my friends. Happy holidays, and I'll see you soon. The PLANTSTRONG podcast team includes Carrie Barrett, Laurie Kortowich and Ami Mackey. if you like what you hear do us a favor and share the show with your friends and loved ones you can always leave a five-star rating and review on apple podcasts or spotify and while you're there make sure to hit that follow button so that you never miss an episode, As always, this and every episode is dedicated to my parents, Dr. Caldwell B. Esselstyn, Jr. And Anne Crile Esselstyn. Thanks so much for joining us.

[1:16:09] Music.